This is the script for the Grand Theft Auto: Vice City mission Recruitment Drive.


(InterGlobal Films, Steve Scott, random girl and man, Tommy Vercetti)

Steve Scott: Action.

Girl: Whoa! Now that's big.

Man: 12 inches. That is regulation baby.

Steve Scott: CUT!! Who IS this idiot? You! YOU! Why are you in my space? WHY?

Tommy Vercetti: What is all this crap? Aliens? Fishing poles? Who's ever seen a shark that big? All this stuff's gotta go. Why'd you get in this business, ya prick? Huh? For the pussy, that's why! What is this??

Steve Scott: This is my art - SECURITY!

Tommy Vercetti: Look, you pompous asshole, I own you now. I own all of this. We're gonna turn this place around... I'm gonna make you rich.

Steve Scott: Uh. You're - You - you're Tommy Vercetti? But I thought that you were...

Tommy Vercetti: That's right. We're gonna be making some changes around here and start making some real money.

Steve Scott: Actually, have you ever thought about, umm...

Tommy Vercetti: But first we're going to need some good-looking broads.

Steve Scott: Yeh, girls are fine but you... whew!

(Tommy Vercetti leaves)

Tommy Vercetti: What's that guy think this is some free art crap?

(Tommy Vercetti meets Candy Suxxx in Downtown)

Tommy Vercetti: Yo, Candy. I'm looking for movie talent - you interested?

Candy Suxxx: Sure! But, you'd have to talk to my agent...

The Agent: The HELL are you doin'?

Tommy Vercetti: You should have stayed at home today!

The Agent: Can you believe this asshole?

Candy Suxxx: Come on, let's go.

(Tommy returns to collect Candy and drives to The Well Stacked Pizza Co.)

Tommy Vercetti: Hey Mercedes!

Mercedes Cortez: Hey Tommy! You wanna party?

Tommy Vercetti: Not now sweets. You interested in doing some movies?

Mercedes Cortez: Of course. As long as it's cheap and sleazy.

Tommy Vercetti: Heh heh - you're hired!

(Tommy, Candy and Mercedes get into a vehicle)

(If Tommy strays too far from Mercedes.)

Mercedes Cortez: Hey! Where are you going!

(When Tommy goes back to collect Mercedes.)

Mercedes Cortez: Tommy, when are we going to get to spend some time alone together?

(If Tommy strays too far from Candy Suxxx.)

Candy Suxxx: Tommy where are you going? Get back here!

(If Tommy drives recklessly.)

Mercedes Cortez: You call that driving?!

(If Tommy continues to drive recklessly.)

Mercedes Cortez: What! Are you trying to kill me? I thought I was the star!

(Tommy drives Candy and Mercedes to the InterGlobal Films studios)

Mercedes Cortez: Tommy, you coming in for a warm-up?

Tommy Vercetti: Maybe later, babe...

Mercedes Cortez: Whoa, cool shark!

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